Film Review: Black Panther

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Always Bet on Black

All superhero movies are about identity and the intersection between who you are and what you do, but with the recent exception of DC’s lone star in the critically acclaimed firmament, Wonder Woman, there’s seldom been a release as informed by the politics of self as Marvel’s Black Panther. Ryan Coogler’s film, in keeping with […]

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Film Review: All the Money in the World

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Ruthless People

Ridley Scott faced a crisis of Weinstein proportions when, six weeks shy of release, his completed kidnap thriller All the Money in the World was found to be harbouring one Kevin Spacey, whom the world now alleged was a prolific sex attacker with a taste for young shank (and not in a poignant way like […]

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Film Review: Star Wars – The Last Jedi

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Star Wars Mixtape

Warning: This is an actual review of the movie, not a consumer preview, so contains spoilers. Do not read a word of it until you’ve inevitably suckled from the Disney/Lucasfilm teat. Also, Madam, there’s milk on your beard. The online critic and philosopher, Rich Evans, of Red Letter Media fame, once posited the terrifying idea […]

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Film Review: All the Money in the World

Posted on:

Ruthless People

Ridley Scott faced a crisis of Weinstein proportions when, six weeks shy of release, his completed kidnap thriller All the Money in the World was found to be harbouring one Kevin Spacey, whom the world now alleged was a prolific sex attacker with a taste for young shank (and not in a poignant way like […]

> > Read More...

Film Review: Star Wars – The Last Jedi

Posted on:

Star Wars Mixtape

Warning: This is an actual review of the movie, not a consumer preview, so contains spoilers. Do not read a word of it until you’ve inevitably suckled from the Disney/Lucasfilm teat. Also, Madam, there’s milk on your beard. The online critic and philosopher, Rich Evans, of Red Letter Media fame, once posited the terrifying idea […]

> > Read More...

Film Review: The Disaster Artist

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The Tommy Knockers

Tommy Wiseau’s The Room is one of film’s great basket cases. Ostensibly a melodrama, it was in fact a showcase for the tin ear, emotional retardation, cinematic illiteracy and self-pitying misogyny of its enigmatic star – a talentless ghoul with a Transylvanian disposition and accent like Arnold Schwarzenegger with a brain injury. The movie, with […]

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Film Review: Justice League

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Cape Fear

I confess, I’m bored of DC movies and bored of writing about them. Patty Jenkins’ fun but frivolous outlier, Wonder Woman, aside, what’s left to say? Zack Snyder’s made a series of self-important and empty blockbusters. And now a movie he started but was forced to abandon has been worked over in an attempt to […]

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Film Review: Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

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Here Comes the Belgian

Given we have the 1974 version featuring a cast of luminaries, endorsed by no less a critic than Agatha Christie (who wandered in by mistake, having bought a ticket for Zardoz), and a TV adaptation featuring the man many consider to be the definitive Hercule Poirot – canon completest David Suchet, was there a need […]

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Film Review: A Bad Moms Christmas

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Absolute Gash

It’s taken a while for me to gather my thoughts on a Bad Moms Christmas because such was the anesthetising effect of it, all higher brain activity ceased in the hours and days after the screening. I don’t know how I got home from the cinema that day – there was concrete in my legs […]

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Film Review: Thor – Ragnarok

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Warm Bath

Warning: This review contains a minor spoiler. As in relatively unimportant, not a plot point concerning a child. You could say there’s a loose, freewheeling quality to Thor: Ragnarok and you’d be right, because there is. Director Taika Waititi allowed his cast to improvise bigly, and whereas this is usually the death knell for a […]

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Film Review: The Death of Stalin

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его толщина

Unless you’re Peter Hitchens, you’ve long since internalised the idea that rhetorical strategies for dealing with tyrants, terrorists and tragedy are one thing but the true character of the people and events that characterise them is another. So whereas we’re conditioned to think twice before being glib when discussing Pol Pot, because it may suggest […]

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Film Review: Geostorm

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Crack your cheeks

A spate of intense storm activity across the world – hurricanes battering the US, storms ravaging Ireland, might have been the perfect pre-launch conditions for disaster movie Geostorm. Only a film of immense stupidity could prevent this would-be climate change blowout from cashing in on its zeitgeistian capital. And surely, you say, a movie directed […]

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