Film Review: Transformers – The Last Knight

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The Last Straw

TF5

A recent piece in the Hollywood Reporter found that a typical fan of Michael Bay’s cockroach-like series, impervious to the nuclear bomb of critical scrutiny, thought Man of Steel was the best movie ever made and Mila Jovovich the best living actress. With data like that making its way into the briefcases of Paramount executives […]

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Film Review: The Mummy (2017)

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An American Arsehole in London

Mummy

As TV sucks all the talent out of the Hollywood system, leaving the dry husk of hollowed entertainments, movies have attempted to fight back by, er, emulating the high concept, lowbrow TV of old – colourful, disposable, episodic. We’ve always had plentiful sequels of course but the aim now is to lock in audiences by […]

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Film Review: Wonder Woman

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A Good Woman Goes to War

WW

Long before DC were reviled as Johnny-Come-Latelys who made inferior, joyless copies of Marvel’s movie output – the “Their Satanic Majesties Request” to the MCU’s “Sgt. Pepper” if you will, they were the only game in town. The likes of Thor and the Hulk were stars of cheesy made-for-TV movies when, under licence, Warner Bros. […]

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Film Review: The Mummy (2017)

Posted on:

An American Arsehole in London

Mummy

As TV sucks all the talent out of the Hollywood system, leaving the dry husk of hollowed entertainments, movies have attempted to fight back by, er, emulating the high concept, lowbrow TV of old – colourful, disposable, episodic. We’ve always had plentiful sequels of course but the aim now is to lock in audiences by […]

> > Read More...

Film Review: Wonder Woman

Posted on:

A Good Woman Goes to War

WW

Long before DC were reviled as Johnny-Come-Latelys who made inferior, joyless copies of Marvel’s movie output – the “Their Satanic Majesties Request” to the MCU’s “Sgt. Pepper” if you will, they were the only game in town. The likes of Thor and the Hulk were stars of cheesy made-for-TV movies when, under licence, Warner Bros. […]

> > Read More...

Film Review: Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead Men Tell No Tales

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Sunk Costs

POTC5

The latest in this long sinking franchise (inexplicably retitled “Salazar’s Revenge” in the UK) features a heartbreaking cameo from Paul McCartney and an indifferent one from Johnny Depp. The former can be added to a case file suggesting Mark Chapman chose the wrong man – evidence that includes (but is not limited to) Ebony and […]

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Film Review: Alien – Covenant

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Blonde Ambition

AC

Warning: This review alludes to plot elements. The problem with the prequel trend begun by George Lucas with 1999’s Phantom Menace has been the over-engineering of the myth; the tendency to add muddled and unnecessary complications to a series once defined by simple, audience-friendly dynamics. Many thought Ridley Scott had erred when 2012’s Prometheus junked […]

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Film Review: Unlocked

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Alice Doesn't Live Anymore

Unlocked

Warning: This review discusses the plot. It’s been a long time since Michael Apted was called upon to deliver a dose of nerve shredding espionage and longer still, given that effort was The World is Not Enough, since he’s managed it. Now he’s back with Unlocked, a budget remake of Brian De Palma’s Mission Impossible, […]

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Film Review: Mindhorn

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Losing the Plot

Mindhorn

Warning: This review contains very little comment on the film itself. I’m afraid I don’t have a great deal to say about Mindhorn, a comedy of sorts, because when I search my memory for the impress of its jokes, the delineated edge of its plot line, I find them absent. Why? Because I sat through […]

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Film Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

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Dirty Pop

GOTGV2

Warning: This review discusses aspects of the plot and reveals the fate of major characters. For those filmmakers invited to contribute to the Marvel juggernaut, the presumed audience at least one generation removed from their own, the opportunity has been to rework ideas from their favourite pop cultural touchstones (or in Shane Black’s case, his […]

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Film Review: Fast and the Furious 8

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Car Wars

F8

Warning: This review contains spoilers. The Fast and the Furious 8, a.k.a The Fate of the Furious, a.k.a. bald men arguing over a bomb, is yet another instalment of what now looks to be a permanent biennial event, like Comic Relief only with better jokes. This Wind in the Willows on growth hormones, has morphed […]

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Film Review: Ghost in the Shell

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Robot Wars

GITS

Ghost in the Shell based on the Japanese Manga series of the same name, or Robocop Vs Blade Runner to use its informal title, is a film about the fusion of humanity and robot – the rise of the synthetic and the threat it represents to the soul, whatever that is. Assuming that the marriage […]

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