Film Review: The Boy Next Door

Posted on:

Cougar's Run 

The Boy Next Door

Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo to her fans, Jenny from the block to her friends) serves as producer on this cuckoo in the nest thriller; playing the kind of role you’d suspect she’d taken in desperation, or to honour the demands of a blackmailer, were it not for that ominous, baffling credit. Fer-Pez plays Claire, an English […]

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Film Review: Selma

Posted on:

King Maker

Selma

Biopics can be problematic affairs. They’re open to accusations of historic inaccuracy, being libelous, not being libelous enough, sanitising a life, tidying one up in the interests of simplification, and miscasting the crucial lead role. Fortunately, few of these problems befall Selma, a long overdue cinematic look at Martin Luther King’s struggle to guarantee the […]

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Film Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted on:

No Spankyou

FSOG

Adapting E.L. James’ 100m selling fucklit phenomenon was always going to be hard. Rock hard, you might say. Ask the women who’ve read it, using a Mein Kampf dust jacket to sheath their shame and present a literary front to the world, and they’ll tell you that its girth is attributable to long and repetitious […]

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Film Review: Selma

Posted on:

King Maker

Selma

Biopics can be problematic affairs. They’re open to accusations of historic inaccuracy, being libelous, not being libelous enough, sanitising a life, tidying one up in the interests of simplification, and miscasting the crucial lead role. Fortunately, few of these problems befall Selma, a long overdue cinematic look at Martin Luther King’s struggle to guarantee the […]

> > Read More...

Film Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted on:

No Spankyou

FSOG

Adapting E.L. James’ 100m selling fucklit phenomenon was always going to be hard. Rock hard, you might say. Ask the women who’ve read it, using a Mein Kampf dust jacket to sheath their shame and present a literary front to the world, and they’ll tell you that its girth is attributable to long and repetitious […]

> > Read More...

Film Review: Jupiter Ascending

Posted on:

Space Balls

JA

The return of the Wachowskis is fast becoming a matter of a grave concern, like a recurring skin condition that refuses to clear up no matter much emollient you use. Jupiter Ascending’s a baffling movie, because it seems to represent the directors’ desire to splice Highlander 2 with the Star Wars prequels and see what […]

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Film Review: The Interview

Posted on:

Wrong-uns

the interview

The 1960’s Columbia logo, utilised at the commencement of The Interview for no reason, gives you hope that this could be an old school comedy; a high concept guffaw-we-like with a quotable screenplay and charming leads. In fact, Seth Rogen and James Franco’s latest fuck around masquerading as entertainment almost had a responsibility to be […]

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Film Review: Inherent Vice

Posted on:

Culture Wars

Inherent Vice

It’s perhaps inevitable that Paul Thomas Anderson would be at the front of the queue when it came to adapting Thomas Pynchon for the big screen. Pynchon’s been positioned as a difficult novelist; the antithesis of the infantilism and reductive mentality that’s dominated Hollywood since the 1980s. When we think of literate American cinema we […]

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Film Review: Kingsman – The Secret Service

Posted on:

Working Class Hero

Kinsgman-ColinFirth

From its poster, a gleeful pastiche of Moore-era Bond movie, For Your Eyes Only, to Colin Firth’s on screen preference for outlandish spy movies, it’s clear that Matthew Vaughn’s goal with Kingsman: The Secret Service is to have fun, the kind of fun we used to have in the pre-9/11, pre-post modern world, when it […]

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Film Review: Ex Machina

Posted on:

The God Complex

Ex Machina

Alex Garland’s better than a pastiche artist but driven by the same instinct, to make new versions of old stories with a contemporary twist. 28 Days Later retooled Zombie movies, making them more visceral and grounded, in keeping with modern tastes, and now he’s at it again with Ex Machina, H.G Wells and Asimov for […]

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Film Review: Mortdecai

Posted on:

Drowning in Depp 

Mortdecai

Mortdecai’s a frustrating watch. It’s a movie you can see taxiing for laughs but refusing to take off. It just sits there. Everyone mugs and tries hard, affecting enjoyment, but they’re dying on camera and worse, they seem to know it. The Terry Thomas inspired Charlie Mortdecai, gap toothed and libidinous, played by the remains […]

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Film Review: Whiplash

Posted on:

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Whiplash

For J.K. Simmons’ disciplinarian, drill-instructor shaming music tutor, there are no two words in the English language worse than “good job”. Good job, as a highly tasked, greatness chasing Miles Teller discovers, is venerating mediocrity; it’s a patronising slap on the back for those unwilling to push themselves further; a rubber stamp from a world […]

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